Otherness / Alteridad

Our differences are highlighted with the Pandemic

(thinking about “Trauma”)

We hear statements about the “Traumatic” experience of the Pandemic.

Let’s think about a single, young person in New York living in a tiny apartment.

Let’s think about a middle age person living with her family in a beautiful house in the countryside, in Vermont.

Let’s think about an 85-year-old person living in the North of Brazil.

Let’s think about a child in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Let’s think about that person who lives very close to Orange Beach, in Alabama, and cannot believe the level of denial of all those large groups of people gathered at the beach drinking margaritas as if nothing were happening.

Let’s think about people who live in a beautiful, large apartment.

Let’s think about people who must live in a slum.

Let’s think about a foreigner who is still adapting to her new country.

Let’s think about a middle-aged man whose 90-year-old mother lives in a nursing home miles away from where he lives.

If each of them tells you: “I am scared, I feel I have no control, I can’t sleep at night, I can’t take it anymore”. Would you be hearing the same thing each time?

All of us have a challenge when supporting each other. We are social mammals. We talk to each other and support each other during these difficult times. Online, social distancing, on the phone, we communicate and talk to each other about our feelings and our emotions. But, are we really understanding each other?  Are we fully putting ourselves in the Other person’s shoes while we are experiencing the same “Traumatic” event? Are we able to be “in and out” at the same time while we are listening to our friends or relatives who are not living with us?

Psychoanalysts work with the internal reality of Others. We listen to the inside world of our patients, their relationships with their “internal objects” as we call them. Their personal experiences. This Pandemic affects us all, analysts included. Analysts are also sharing the “Traumatic” experience with everyone. The Real is real now. So, when it comes to understanding the “Trauma” of the Other one, do we really understand “Otherness” being able to leave ourselves on-hold?

Similar to understanding (I won’t even go to “Analyzing”) somebody whose Culture is different to ours, are we really, really, really able to put ourselves between parenthesis to listen truly to that “Otherness” in front of us?

Just think about it.